This Schackmann Family: Finding Joy during the Holidays

Monday, December 29, 2014

Finding Joy during the Holidays

This holiday season has been hard. Very hard. Eric and I should be thinking about how we want to decorate the nursery, not about what we want Ian's tombstone to look like. We should be shopping for nursery furniture, not for funeral plots. We should be talking with friends and family about the pregnancy and how excited we are to become parents, not receiving condolences and sharing tears.

But that is the most brutally honest definition of life. Life isn't fair. And at times, it really stinks. Is there anything we can do about it? No. Eric and I hit our lowest low this holiday season. However, losing Ian during Christmas time has been a small blessing in disguise.

As I stare at the nativity scene in our living room, I am reminded about the one person Christmas is all about-Jesus. He was born, lived a perfect life, and died so that when we die we may go to Heaven and be with Him for all eternity. He is the reason I can smile knowing that Ian is in a better place. He is the reason that as each day passes, I can pull myself up and start living my life again. He is the reason that after everything that has happened, I can smile, laugh and enjoy the company of my friends and family. He is the reason that when I go to bed at night, I can dream of holding my son again, hearing his voice, seeing his beautiful pair of wings.

Because of Jesus, I have been able to find joy during this extremely difficult time. I was able to enjoy spending Christmas with Eric (and Bailey). I was able to laugh with my best friends while they were home. I was able to attend family Christmas celebrations and get engulfed in the joy and happiness around me, momentarily forgetting about the pain and sadness that has been present in my life.

I hope that all of you have found a reason to find joy during this holiday season and have a blessed and happy new year.

Here are a few pictures from our Christmas celebration...