Riley's "Lellow"

This picture. Even seeing it now brings a slight tear to my eye. To probably everyone at the winery this weekend, Riley was my daughter. She wanted her "lellow", which I was affectionately referred to the entire time we were in St. Louis this weekend. And to most people looking at this photo, I'm just flying a kite with a two year old.

But this two year old is so full of spunk and sass. She has the sweetest smile and the orneriest grin that could get her anything she wanted. She is everything that I have ever envisioned Madison would be. And seeing that their birthdays are only a few weeks apart, she's the closest child in my friend realm to what Madison should be doing. What she should be saying. The experiences I should be having with my own daughter.

As Eric and I sat on the couch last night after a day with Riley (and Jaycen and Katie of course) full of kite flying, lots of "uppies", some couch cuddles, story time, and hand holding everywhere we went, Eric asked what I was thinking. I got real close to him, smiled, and remarked how much fun I had had that day. And in the exact same breath, my heart came crashing down as I also said how much it reminded me of the life we could be having if Madison were here. While we will never know exactly what that life would have looked like, I'm thankful for friends like Jaycen and Katie who let me love on Riley all weekend long. I'll tell you there's nothing sweeter than waking up and hearing Riley ask her mom and dad if "lellow" was awake yet. I hope she always likes me that much! (And maybe one day knows my actual name!)

But enough of the sappy stuff- here's a little peak into our weekend in St. Louis! We don't get to see these guys near enough, so we love to soak it in when we do. 

After chilling at their house that morning and Riley's avoidance of an afternoon nap, we decided to drive up the road to a local winery. Remember when I said earlier that people probably thought I was Riley's mom? See photo below ha!

I'm so glad that Jaycen brought out their kite. Saturday was the perfect windy spring day. We all had a blast flying that thing. I think I might have earned the title of best kite flyer of the day!

And of course I have to include a few candids Eric took of Riley and her actual momma, because seriously, could these two get any stinking cuter?? I hope that when I get to mother some babies here on Earth that I can have as great a connection with my own babies as these two have.

And last but not least, my rock of a husband! (And Jaycen photo-bombing while kite flying in the background.) Here's to many more adventures with you!

Best Friends are Good for the Soul

I read a quote recently that said, "A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend helped you write them." As I look back at all my best stories, I can't help but notice that these three girls are in practically all of them. (And if you didn't realize that by now you haven't been reading my blog long, ha!) Seriously, though. These three girls are the definition of a best friend. So you can imagine my excitement when the four of us all got together this past weekend for some quality girl time.

The weekend was filled with so many laughs, a few tears, and all the love you can imagine. And of course yummy food. And rain, can't forget all the rain ha! We even fit in an escape room and rescued the Mona Lisa (which Kendra and I both agreed was way bigger than the original painting).

I'm already looking forward to the next time we can all get together. By then we will have another baby to add to our bunch! Here's to many more weekends with these girls, writing the best stories of our lives together <3

The Simple Life

Do you ever have one of those days (or weekends) where you are reminded of why you live where and how you do? For me, this past weekend was one of those times. Yes, I love visiting friends in big cities like St. Louis, Peoria, Nashville, etc. But there's no way I could live there! The traffic, the people, the noises, the lights- it's all way to much for me. 

I prefer the simpler life. The kind where you can grab your fishing pole on a Friday morning and head to your pond between the rain showers and catch some fish. The kind where you can sit on your porch in the evening and watch nothing go by except the sunset (and your dog). The kind where you realize just how lucky you really are. 

Like I said before, this weekend was one of those times. Thursday night we went out to Floyd's in Oblong for some tacos with Garrett and Emilee. When we got home that night, we noticed that our walkway was covered in night crawlers! Eric had me go in and get a tupperware container, and we managed to snag over 20 night crawlers.  

Friday morning, it didn't look like it would ever stop raining. We were in the middle of cleaning the house when Eric told me to grab the worms- we were going fishing! So we headed out to the pond and fished for a little less than an hour before it started raining again. 

Bailey enjoyed the fishing too. When she wasn't busy wading into the water to get small branches that were near the shore, she was trying to bite the fish we caught as we pulled them off the hook. 

We got 8 bluegill and 3 bass- a productive morning if I say so myself!

So thankful dad raised me right and taught me how to filet a fish! Having two people filet fish makes things go so much faster. 

On Saturday, it was time for my Uncle Dean's wedding! This is his second marriage, and I'm so glad that he has found someone who makes him so incredibly happy. Dad was even asked to be the best man!

And of course I had to get a picture with James. We've been with each other through thick and thin, and I couldn't imagine having anyone else as a brother but him. Somehow I managed to not get a good picture with Eric, must have been having too much fun!

Sunday was Easter. It was the perfect day filled with family and food. It was also the perfect reminder that although my heart still aches to have Ian back in our life, thanks to Jesus dying on the cross and rising from the dead, I will get to see Ian again one day. He died and rose again so that we may have the promise of eternal life- a promise that I am very much looking forward to. 

As the sun set on Sunday, I felt God's love pour out of the sky. I was reminded that there is a greater plan, and that one day everything will make sense. Until then, I'm going to keep enjoying the simple life. It's gotten me this far, after all. 

Another Weekend Gone

Is is just me, or does it seem like the weekends don't last long enough! Maybe this weekend went by so fast because we jam-packed so much into it.

On Friday I went to go pick up my birthday present from Eric- a ring in remembrance of Ian. After we found out that we had lost Ian, I knew I wanted something to remember him by that I could always have with me. I thought about a necklace, but I already wear one from Eric almost every day. Earrings were another option, but I usually just stick with studs on a daily basis, so I wasn't sure I would want earrings. Plus, I can't look at the earrings anytime I wanted to. So, I decided on a ring.

Eric told me I could pick anything I wanted. I scoured the internet for a few days looking for a blue topaz (Ian's birthstone) ring. I found three I liked and Eric picked the one he liked the best, which also happened to be the one I liked the best too. What I loved about it was the deep blue color, I've never really been a fan of the light blue topaz look. But this was also my biggest hesitation- would other people get that it was blue topaz? Would they question why I went with this darker blue instead of going with the lighter color?

I almost changed my mind on the ring. I'm so glad Eric talked me out of it. He helped me realize that I want this ring for myself, so if I think that it is perfect, then it is. And that's exactly what I think it is-perfect. That deep blue- as deep as my love for Ian, as deep as the whole in my heart, as deep as I miss him every day. I couldn't imagine a more perfect ring.

After I picked up my ring, I headed over to meet Eric, Justin, and Julie to go to St. Louis to "surprise" Jaycen for his birthday. Surprise is in quotes because Katie might have told Jaycen her plan to surprise him by inviting us there for his birthday. Even though there was no surprise, it was still a wonderful time!

On Saturday, we went to 4 Hands Brewery in St. Louis for their 4th annual Lupulin Carnival. Eric and I had been to many craft beer festivals, but never a beer carnival. And man was it cool! Stilt walkers, fire breathers, sword eaters, knife throwers, a ferris wheel- it couldn't get much better than that. Except I guess, when you add in all the beer. I knew I wouldn't care for these beers as much since they were mostly "hop-y" beers, so I volunteered to drive everyone home. Eric let me try a few of his beers that he thought I might like, and let me just say that I'm glad I didn't pay for a drinking ticket!

On Sunday, I went with mom, Ashley, Emery, and Ashley's mom Carol to see the NCHS musical production of "Mary Poppins". I realized that it had been five years since I've been to a musical. After seeing all the talent the youth of our community have, though, I know that I will be back every year for many years to come. I forgot just how much I loved seeing the musicals each year. I would do high school all over again just to be in the musical one more time!

Like all good things, the weekend finally came to an end. Now it's Monday morning, and I have to think about big girl things, like taxes and work. Let's just say I'm already counting down to next weekend!