School's Out, Sun's Out

It's the end of May, and that means school is over and the sun is shining! This summer is shaping up to be a fun one, but I don't want to forget all the exciting things that May held for us. 

I'm officially declaring May as the month of outside. The weather had warmed up and we spent about every minute we could enjoying the sunshine. We took wagon rides, blew bubbles, rode bikes, spotted deer during truck rides and played in the dirt.

 

On the 11th, Eric and I celebrated 10 whole years of marriage. Every day with this guy is a gift, and we have had quite the adventure in the past 10 years. Looking forward to lifetime together with him.

My mom and dad got the twins fishing poles for Easter, and dad was ready to cash in that gift with a trip to the pond! Brayden had the absolute best time (he probably tied for the most fun with my dad). He was the winner for catching the most and also the biggest fish. Seeing his excitement as he reeled in the fish was so fun. We for sure need to get him back out to the pond to fish again soon.

Here's Brayden with his first ever fish!

He had so much fun reeling them in!

And then here he is with the biggest fish of the evening. 

Ashley loved the idea of fishing. She talked it up real big on our way there and acted so excited to catch a fish with her new pole. Once we started fishing though, I don't think it was as fun as she thought it would be. She did like reeling the fish in, but only wanted to reel in a few fish before she was done.

Ashley with her first fish of the night! 

Ashley and the smallest fish of the night. But as she put it, "I like the small ones because they don't splash."

Mother's Day was a relaxing day with the kids and our moms. While these three drive me crazy on the daily, I feel blessed that God chose me to be their momma.

Katie turned O-N-E on the 26th, and we celebrated with pizza and a truck ride. You can check out my full blog on her first birthday here. 

We had her party on the 28th, and she was showered with lots of love from family and friends. 

Since her favorite food is pizza, I knew I had to make that the theme of her party. Check out this cake my mom made. She nailed it!!

Katie was not really into eating her cake (nothing like what the twins did on their first birthday), but she was still cute as could be as she ate her little cupcake.

And I had to sneak in the picture of Ashley and our cousin Emmy. These two are the true definition of besties. I hope their bond continues to grow and they don't grow tired of each other by the time they are older ha!

That night we headed to Palestine for food and fun with friends. The kids jumped in a bounce house, swung on the swings, ate smore's, shot up rockets, played with glow-sticks, and Brayden even rode a hoverboard with the help of Brandon. I'd say the evening was a success!

Memorial Day we went to Montrose for Mass with Eric's family and then headed to his Aunt and Uncle's house for even more food and fun with family. 

 

 

The past two days we've definitely kept things a little more lowkey that our weekend had been, and I think we were all thankful for the slowdown. Now we are refreshed and recharged to enjoy what June has in store for us!

Post Mother's Day Thoughts

Mother's Day. 

I really used to dread this day. For almost 6 years it was a constant reminder that the children we so desperately prayed for couldn't stay. It was a reminder that I may never get to mother my own children here on Earth. For all the women missing a piece of their heart here on Earth, and all those women who long to be a momma, I know how hard yesterday was for you. There is no bigger reminder of the things you don't have when the whole world is celebrating what you so desperately want. 

This year was my first full year of being a mother to my children on Earth. It was a year filled with so much joy, so much happiness, but also frustrations, exhaustion, and stress (because let's all be honest here- motherhood isn't all rainbows and butterflies). 

When I look at this picture of Brayden and Ashley cuddled up on the couch with me, I can't help but smile. This was what I had longed for for 6 years. This is what I had always pictured when I thought of myself as a mom. Even though being their favorite person can have it's downfalls- like not being able to do literally anything without one of them all up in my business, it is literally the best job title I could ever have. 

But looking at that picture also brings with it some pangs of sadness, as there should be two more kids on my lap. Knowing that our family (and my lap) will never be totally complete is a huge bummer, even in all the joy that having my kids here with me brings. Balancing grief and happiness is a crazy ride that I'm still trying to get my bearings on. 

For all the moms out there stuck in that weird limbo of being thankful for what you have here and longing for what you have in Heaven, I hope that you can rejoice knowing that one day your family will once again be reunited. 

For all the moms still stuck in the despair of losing a piece of their heart, I'm sorry that yesterday was so tough for you. There's no mother more deserving than a mother who had to give one back.

And for all the women longing to be called momma one day, don't give up hope. I can't promise that you'll finally get all that you've hoped for. But I can tell you that you are a mother in more ways than you know- whether that's through a niece or nephew, a best friend's child, or even your own siblings, you've shared a special motherly touch with them that can never be replaced or duplicated. 

As we enter a post Mother's Day week, let's not forget the thankfulness and love we all shared for our own mothers, or that which was shared with yourself. Let's show those special women in our lives, especially those that are hurting, just how much they mean to us each and every day, not just on Mother's Day. 

Brayden and Ashley: Three Months

Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here crying wondering how my babies have been here with us for three months now. Someone lie to me and tell me that it doesn't always go this fast. I'm definitely not ready for them to grow up so quickly.

Let's take a little look back at the last four weeks with these two!

First up isn't really an update for the babies, but on April 14th I was officially back to work! I had planned on taking the rest of the school year off, and if students were able to go back to school, I would have. But since other teachers were teaching from home, work gave me the option to come back to work as well as long as I could devote the time to do it. It was a little difficult navigating Zoom therapy times with my students, IEP meetings, and taking care of the babies, but we did it! Luckily they still take a long nap in the afternoon and I was able to schedule most of my meetings and therapy times during that nap. This week wraps up our last week of learning for the students, and boy am I hoping that I get to see them all in person this fall! Online teaching is tough work.

In week 9 I was able to catch a video of Ashley rolling over! And now in week 12 I swear she is about ready to roll from back to belly. She can basically get herself almost completely on her side, she just hasn't made the final step of getting all the way over to her tummy.

Week 9 was also when I realized how much Ashley loves the changing table. Put her up there and she almost always busts out in the biggest smile.

We practice tummy time every day, and in week 10 we are both doing a great job of holding our heads up.

Brayden and Ashley practiced their selfie skills with me that week too. It was so funny to see their faces when they saw themselves on my phone screen. Both of their eyes got so big! Brady thought it was pretty funny, and Ashley was just shocked in general. She did start giving me some poses by the end though. I think we are in for a treat with this one.

With all the nice weather we had in April, we tried to get outside as much as we could. These two usually do pretty well on stroller rides. We did have one day that Ashley just wasn't having it and I ended up carrying her and pushing Brady the rest of the way home. But luckily that hasn't been a common occurrence.

Eric and I had been noticing that when Ashley woke up in the morning, she was usually not in the spot that we had put her when we put her down at night. She scoots either up or down in her crib during the night. And in week 10, I had to laugh when I found her like this on the monitor. I moved a lot in my sleep when I was younger, and woke up many times with my feet where my head should be in the bed. She gets more and more like me every day. (And Eric would agree with that statement, especially when it comes to eating. This girl takes.her.time. When we can both feed them, we almost always start feeding her before Brayden, and Brayden always beats her done. I can't say much, because I'm also a slow eater, but boy I wish she was a little faster, especially on her last bottle before bed.)

Week 10 met us with the end of April, which also meant it was the end of my daily posts of Brady and Ashley. I had so much fun with that little project, and really learned what made each of them smile. For Brady, he loved when I sang to him. Ashley gave me the most smiles when I ran the burp rag across her face. I made a little comparison picture for each of them from April 1st to April 30th.

By the beginning of May, Brady and Ashley had both definitely found their hands. These two love to suck on them, and I haven't decided if I love that or not. I do like that they are using them to self soothe, especially when they don't have their pacifier (i.e. spit it out and can't put it back in their own mouths yet). They haven't moved to sucking on their thumbs, but we will have to keep an eye out for that.

Week 11 met Brady and Ashley with their first Cinco de Mayo! Can we "taco bout" how cute these two are? Mommy and daddy celebrated with margs and Mexican. Brayden and Ashley settled for taco shirts and milk. Maybe one day, babies!

That Friday I brought the babies to work with me! Don't worry, they stayed in the van the entire time. It was the end of Teacher Appreciation Week and all week PGS had been having curb side pick up for treats for the staff. I had meetings all week and wasn't able to go until Friday. I was met with the biggest smiles (behind masks of course) and faces pressed against the van windows to get a peek at the babies. It was so nice to see everyone and chat, even it was only briefly and from six feet away. I'm looking forward to getting back in my classroom this fall!

This past weekend the babies helped me celebrate Mother's Day. Even though it wasn't my first Mother's Day, it was definitely a special one as I was able to finally kiss and snuggle two of my babies. I really wanted to get a picture of them with Ian and Madison too, but it was too cold outside to get them out to the cemetery. Hopefully next year we will be able to all get out there.

Then on May 11th Eric and I celebrated 7 years of marriage. Year 7 calls for copper, and we are exchanging gifts this weekend (thanks to a missed email that held up shipping of a gift). I have to document what happened when we exchanged "cards" that day though. We decided that since we are quarantined at home, we would just do homemade cards to each other instead of buying cards. We both wrote out a little note to one another reflecting on this past year. And we both talked about how awesome this past year was with the traveling we did, having the babies, and watching each other grow into parents. It was actually pretty comical that we literally wrote the exact same thing to each other. I guess that's what seven years of marriage (and 13 years together) will do.

And that brings us up to today- 3 months! How we've had three months with these two is beyond me. But they've been the best three months of my life. I love watching them grow and learn and develop their personalities every day. It hasn't always been easy, but we are loving every minute with these two!

Some extras that I don't want to forget:

• We have graduated from newborn clothes and are officially in 0-3 and 3 months! I might have cried a little tear as I packed up their newborn outfits. We are also both in size one diapers, especially after Ashley had 4 blowouts in one week.

• Brayden's favorite thing this month has been listening to me sing, especially "Wheels on the Bus". It usually doesn't take long into a song before he busts out with the biggest smiles. 

• We are also loving Brayden's sad face. That lip sticks out and he just looks so cute we often find ourselves laughing before we attempt to comfort him.

• Ashley's favorite thing this month has been sitting up. Brayden is usually pretty content laying on the floor, but Ashley much prefers to be upright and looking around.

• On April 25, Eric and I woke up at 6 that morning feeling well rested. We both looked at each other and asked if the babies had gotten up the night before. They had finally slept through the night! Praise Jesus that they've kept that up since then. They are currently sleeping from 8:30/9 at night until 7:30/8 the next morning. Sometimes they've slept even a little longer than that. Keep it up babies! Check out these happy babes after a full night's sleep.

• Their schedules now look a little like this: Wake up around 7:30/8 and eat a 6 oz bottle, take a little cat nap, eat a 5 oz bottle around 10, take a little cat nap, eat a 5 oz bottle around noon and go down for their long nap until around 3, eat a 6 oz bottle, cat naps, eat a 5 oz bottle around 6, cat nap, and then a 6 oz bottle before bed around 8:30. They get at least one bottle of formula a day as I'm having trouble totally keeping up with them on breast milk alone.

• I've been thinking switching up their schedule and adding in a morning nap and pushing their afternoon nap back a little bit. I wanted to wait until I was done doing tele-therapy for school, and now that that is officially done (as of tomorrow), I might switch it up and see how they do. Eric and I have also talked about trying to get them up a little sooner and down for bed a little earlier. I'll keep you posted on how it all goes!

• They are still getting swaddled at night, and have grown out of their size small SwaddleMe's. Brayden started getting his arm wriggled out of them, so we bought a few that zip up and then swaddle around the arms and just leave their arms inside the zipper instead of putting them through the arm holes before we use the swaddle part. No more escaping arms for him!

• I never realized how difficult it would be to get both of them to smile at the same time. Sure, they are both super happy in the morning, but it never fails that one will smile and the other will be looking in a totally different direction. Or will be crying. Enjoy some pictures of at least one happy baby!

• We don't have an official doctor's appointment until June, but by my home measurements Brayden now weighs 13 pounds 6 ounces and is approximately 23.25 inches long. Ashley now weighs 12 pounds and 6 ounces and is approximately 22.5 inches long. We look forward to continuing to watch them grow!