Post Mother's Day Thoughts

Mother's Day. 

I really used to dread this day. For almost 6 years it was a constant reminder that the children we so desperately prayed for couldn't stay. It was a reminder that I may never get to mother my own children here on Earth. For all the women missing a piece of their heart here on Earth, and all those women who long to be a momma, I know how hard yesterday was for you. There is no bigger reminder of the things you don't have when the whole world is celebrating what you so desperately want. 

This year was my first full year of being a mother to my children on Earth. It was a year filled with so much joy, so much happiness, but also frustrations, exhaustion, and stress (because let's all be honest here- motherhood isn't all rainbows and butterflies). 

When I look at this picture of Brayden and Ashley cuddled up on the couch with me, I can't help but smile. This was what I had longed for for 6 years. This is what I had always pictured when I thought of myself as a mom. Even though being their favorite person can have it's downfalls- like not being able to do literally anything without one of them all up in my business, it is literally the best job title I could ever have. 

But looking at that picture also brings with it some pangs of sadness, as there should be two more kids on my lap. Knowing that our family (and my lap) will never be totally complete is a huge bummer, even in all the joy that having my kids here with me brings. Balancing grief and happiness is a crazy ride that I'm still trying to get my bearings on. 

For all the moms out there stuck in that weird limbo of being thankful for what you have here and longing for what you have in Heaven, I hope that you can rejoice knowing that one day your family will once again be reunited. 

For all the moms still stuck in the despair of losing a piece of their heart, I'm sorry that yesterday was so tough for you. There's no mother more deserving than a mother who had to give one back.

And for all the women longing to be called momma one day, don't give up hope. I can't promise that you'll finally get all that you've hoped for. But I can tell you that you are a mother in more ways than you know- whether that's through a niece or nephew, a best friend's child, or even your own siblings, you've shared a special motherly touch with them that can never be replaced or duplicated. 

As we enter a post Mother's Day week, let's not forget the thankfulness and love we all shared for our own mothers, or that which was shared with yourself. Let's show those special women in our lives, especially those that are hurting, just how much they mean to us each and every day, not just on Mother's Day.