Weight gain/loss: Gained half a pound this week to put me at 14.5 pounds total.
Sleep: Not too bad, but I'm definitely not sleeping like I used to be able to!
Rings: On.
Showing: Yep!
Cravings: A couple random things this week- hotdogs and ice cream. I promise I'm not craving them at the same time though haha!
Gender: Girl.
Best Moment this Week: I had another dream of Madison! We were at home (well at my parent's house, not our house) and it was time for church. We had no clothes for Madison, but Eric was able to somehow find some. I got to see her big, brown beautiful eyes, and I was even able to breastfeed her! I hope I keep having these dreams with her.
On Thursday I had another doctor's appointment. I'm dilated to a one- woohoo! I know that doesn't really mean anything, but as the nurse practitioner said, it's better than not being dilated at all. I guess miss Madison is doing what she is supposed to be.
And can we talk about the weather this week- it has been perfect! I don't remember the last time it's been in the 70s in February, but I'm not complaining. At least I wasn't complaining until Friday, when it turned cold and rainy. I was pretty over the day. I've been having a harder and harder time as Madison's due date gets closer. There's so much unknown and to tell you all the truth, I'm completely terrified. I'm terrified that when the time comes, I won't be able to do it. I'm terrified that I won't get to spend as much time with Madison as I want to (because let's be honest, I'll never get to spend as much time with her as I want to). I'm terrified that nothing is going to go right. But then I looked outside. And I saw the most beautiful rainbow, a double rainbow even.
I have never needed a sign of God's everlasting love and eternal promise more than I needed it now. A promise that even though I am struggling now, I can place my hope and faith in Him and He will help me through it all. I guess that's why I picked my chalkboard verse this week. Now more than ever, I need to remember that he has it all under control, and because of that, I shouldn't fear. (Not saying that that will be easy, but I'm trying.)
Looking Forward To: It's getting harder and harder to think of something I'm looking forward to. I can't say that I'm looking forward to Madison being born, because that means that I will have to say goodbye to her. And I'm definitely not ready for that. But I am looking forward to meeting her, to telling her that I love her a million times, to memorizing every inch of her little body, and to be reminded of God's everlasting love.
ReplyDeleteSending love to you and your remarkable rainbow baby.
What a wonderful journey you have shared with us.
We hold you near and dear to our hearts,
and I am going to really miss you at school !