Ian, somehow I blinked and six years have gone by. SIX YEARS. It's hard for me to fathom that it's been that long since I held your little body in my arms. Six years of missing out on your smiles, laughs, cuddles. Your tears, tantrums, runny noses. Six years of missing out on you.
Now that Brayden and Ashley are here, I realize even more how much I've missed you. It's one of those things that makes you realize you don't know what you were missing out on until you have it. And boy do I know now what we truly missed with you.
It's not fair, really. But I learned long ago (a little over six years in fact), that life is far from fair.
So six years later, I'm enjoying the two gifts from Heaven that you and Madison picked out for your daddy and I. They are a true joy that we don't deserve.
I know that on someone's birthday, you should be the gift receiver, not the gift giver. But I just love how on your birthday this year you gave Brayden and Ashley their first snow.
I wish I could say that we really enjoyed playing in it, but by the time we got home from work and daycare, almost all of it had melted. All of it, that is, except this perfect little patch near your tree. I don't really think that was a coincidence. Thank you for being part of this first for them. Next time send a little more so they can really enjoy it :)
I hope that we are still making you proud down here. We think of you every day. And like I told you this afternoon, I'd do anything to have you here with us. But since I can't change time, I'll settle with knowing that on the day I get to Heaven, I'll get to scoop you up in my arms once again.
Love you always, baby boy.
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