The Pursuit of Happiness

Two weeks ago, I was in a dark place. Eric helped me realize that I wouldn't just get better, I had to consciously work at it. So that's what I decided to do.

I took the end of that week off of work to work on me. I was prepared to return to work on Monday. But then the next week, it snowed so much that I got the whole week off! Someone told me that God must have known I needed a break, and I couldn't agree more. 

I was reminded of something that I once read: If you ask God for patience, he doesn't give you patience, but rather an opportunity to be patient. If you ask for strength, God doesn't give you strength, but an opportunity to be strong.

I have been praying hard. Praying for happiness, praying for strength. Last week, I had the opportunity for both of those things. 

God has a way of timing things perfectly. While I'm praying for happiness, God gave me one of the best opportunities to be happy- my birthday! And it never fails to remind me just how much I am loved. The phone calls, texts, Facebook messages- each one put a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Since I did have all of last week off, I was able to do something that I haven't done in a looooong time-work on making speech products! I have my own store on Teachers pay Teachers (If you work in a school in any way, you definitely need to check that website out!) where I make speech therapy products for others to use in their speech rooms. I think the last time I worked on making these products was right after we moved back home. It was so nice to get back to doing something I truly enjoy. Yet another opportunity to be happy. 

This last weekend was also a huge event- my best friend Kendra's baby shower! I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to handle her shower. I knew I wanted to be there-she is my best friend after all. But I also knew that seeing her huge belly and not having a belly of my own would be hard. 

As it turns out, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be (there goes God again giving me an opportunity to be strong). I was truly happy for Kendra, and proud to say that I didn't feel one bit of jealousy during her shower. I laughed, smiled, and felt the love of others for my best friend encompass my heart. 

Here I am with the beautiful momma-to-be and my other best friend Kaci. Ashley and her daughter Emery weren't there because of the flu, but we knew they were there in spirit! 

I wish I could say that I was able to be strong throughout the whole shower, but I am only human. And to be fair, my moment of weakness was when I gave Kendra her present after the shower had ended. Kendra cried with me as I hugged her and made her promise to let me know when she had that baby boy so I could hold him. That boy, along with Ashley's baby boy, will always hold a special place in my heart.

God didn't leave me with that moment of weakness, however. That evening, Kendra, her husband Travis, Kaci, and her husband Jason all came over to our house to play games and catch up. I can't tell you how much I have missed these girls! It was so nice to laugh, talk, and forget about all of the pain I had been feeling. I couldn't have been happier.

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Everyone is fighting their own battle. Whether your battle is big or small, I urge you to take it to God. But don't expect God to instantly give you what you need. Instead, look for the opportunity to be or feel whatever it is that you have prayed for. You might find that he has already been giving you the chance, if you would only open up your eyes and heart to see.

God is helping me in my pursuit of happiness. I know he will help you too if you only ask him.