Baby Yallaly {Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness}

Meet DeAnne and her family. DeAnne is the only girl cousin I have on my mom's side, so even though we are ten years apart, we have always been close. When DeAnne was pregnant with their second child, the unthinkable happened- she learned his heartbeat was gone. Read DeAnne's story below:

The Story Of My Forever Son! It all started with the excitement that my son would have a sibling to play with, a "forever best friend," when we began trying for our second child. Just like that God answered my prayer with a yes & I became pregnant. I had a perfect pregnancy with my first so we decided to share our exciting news with our family & close friends. Again God blessed me with a perfect pregnancy (no morning sickness or mood swings). As I approached week 16 I was eager to maybe think this appointment I would find out the sex! If you know me I'm a planner and I wanted to start planning for this child's room, wardrobe, etc. I went to this appointment alone as my husband had been to just about all of my first child's appointments & most of this one's appointments. I was to call him if we would find out the sex. So here I was at my 16 week appointment ready to hear my second child's heartbeat &........................................................it was gone! I wanted to run far away & tell no one. Because if no one knew it wasn't real...right? So once reality hit which was shortly after I asked Doc, "What comes next?" Well that painful call to my husband was it! It broke my heart all over again & each time I told another person it kept breaking....until I believe nothing was left. That night I cried more than my 30 yr old self had EVER cried!!! I blamed myself.... over & over & over & over again! My husband was my rock! The most solid one God made for me!! Quicker than I had expected each day I grew stronger because I had a son who needed me & a husband who couldn't be my rock forever! Then I looked to God he gave me STRENGTH I NEVER KNEW I HAD! God lost his ONLY son! He understood my pain. As we waited for my body to go into labor at the hospital I couldn't help but be sad but also surprisingly excited to hold our baby. When I held him he was "PERFECT!"Another boy. He had every part. God made him perfectly!!  He just wasn't ready to be born here. As I looked at him I knew it wouldn't be the last time! He would be our "forever" son in heaven, my son's best friend. When he was buried I felt a sense of peace that he was home, not the home I would have chosen first, but he never was my child. We are all God's children! It still hurts to think about this chapter of my life. To explain to my son that he won't be hugging his brother here on Earth. But you better believe we will get a grand tour of heaven as we arrive, by the most special resident to us! Does time make it easier? Yes! Does it still hurt the same? Yes...just less often!! Why does God call to heaven little children? I think because "perfect" angels are hard to find!