Sunday, December 16, 2018

Ian's Fourth Angelversary


Ian, it doesn't seem possible that four years ago you made your appearance and changed your daddy and I's lives forever. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you (and your sister), and wish more than anything that you were here with me instead of in Heaven.

I used to be so angry at the fact that God took you from us. I was angry that you had to leave so soon, angry that you were so badly wanted and just like that we couldn't have you. I was angry that everyone else got to keep their baby and I didn't. I was angry at God for doing this to your dad and I, for causing us so much pain and grief and heartache. It wasn't fair. And it still isn't.

But it's amazing what four years can do. There are still times when I find myself angry that you aren't here. But those times are few and far between. Two readings at mass this morning really hit home. It's like God knew that I needed to hear these verses on your birthday.

The first is from Zephaniah 3:14-18. I'm paraphrasing here, but it says, "Shout for joy....be glad and exult with all your heart...The Lord is in your midst, you have no further misfortune to fear...Do not fear, do not be discouraged." The Lord stayed by my side these past four years. He has seen me through my worst moments, and He is still here with me. Because of Him, I am able to be glad and joyful. Because of Him, my anger has softened and my fear of what's to come has lessened.

And then Philippians 4:4-7 reads, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I shall say it again: rejoice!...The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." This year, while my heart still aches from the gaping hole that your death placed there and my arms still long to hold you just one more time, I am able to rejoice in knowing that you are in the most perfect place, baby boy. You get to sit on Jesus' lap and listen to His own stories and learn from Him in person. You get to watch over your daddy and I, and play with your little sister. You have the best seat in the house, and I have to admit I'm a little jealous of that.

On the night you were born, Ian, the night wind whispered that life would never be the same. And it hasn't. But oh, sweet boy, Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn, on that wonderful, marvelous night you were born.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Europe Trip 2018: Germany

Up next on our European adventure this summer was Germany! I have to admit, I can't say I was necessarily "looking forward" to Germany. I knew we were going to Munich and to see some castle, but there wasn't anything I was really excited to see- like the Colosseum or Stonehenge. But I also have to admit, I think Germany was one of my favorite stops on our trip!

In every other country, we had so many things we wanted to do and see. And that made all those countries really interesting and exciting, but also really exhausting. Germany was so laid back, it was a refreshing break after all the walking and sightseeing we did in England.

Up first was an overnight trip to see Neuschwanstein Castle. This is known as the "fairy-tale castle", and it definitely lived up to it's name! Driving up to the castle, you could see it nestled in the mountains from down below. You could also see that it was going to be a long trek to make it to the top of the mountain where the castle stood. Of course, you could pay to take a horse and buggy to the top, but what fun would that be? -Insert loads of sarcasm here.- 

Nonetheless, we finally made it to the top and got to marvel in the beauty of the castle's exteriors and views, which were breathtaking, before taking a tour of the interior. No cameras were allowed inside, but I'm sure you can find interior pictures online somewhere if you're interested to see what it looked like. 

I will say that the interior was pretty extravagant- there were so many beautiful paintings, ornate pieces of furniture, and monstrous rooms. I would really like to know why people thought some rooms needed to be so large! The interesting thing about the castle is that it was never completely finished. From what I remember from the tour, the King rang out of money to complete the castle. Not long after that, King Ludwig II was declared insane. A day after being sentenced to Berg Palace in 1886, he and his psychiatrist were mysteriously found dead the very next day. Crazy history right there! After the tour, we took another hike to the  Marienbrucke, a bridge that gives a spectacular view of the castle. We stopped for a quick photo op and then took the long, and much easier downhill, trek back to the bottom. 


After leaving the castle, we hopped back in the car and went to a picture perfect little town called Oberammergau. This town was SO NEAT. Almost all of the buildings had the coolest murals painted on them of traditional Bavarian scenes, fairy tales, and religious themes. I wish we could have visited every single building that was painted because they were all just so beautiful. And the pictures of the inside of a building are of the church in town- wow, just wow is all I can say. It was absolutely gorgeous inside!

This town is known for a few things, one of which is the Passion Play that they hold every 10 years, and have been holding since 1634- that's over 380 years! A man brought the bubonic plague to town, and it soon began spreading through the town's inhabitants. The town vowed that if God spared their village from the effects of the bubonic plague that they would perform a passion play of the suffering, death, and resurrection of Christ every ten years. After that vow was made, no one else in the town died, and the very next year their performed their first passion play. The Inn we stayed in had a book of one of the more recent Passion Plays, and let me tell you that this thing is legit. It is a full on production involving a majority of the town and runs for months. I think the next time we come to Germany needs to be in a year ending in 0 so that we can go see the play!

Oberammergau is also known for its woodcarvings, and is home to the Bavarian State Woodcarving School. This town is lined with woodcarving shops, and we had such a great time exploring all the shops and seeing what talent these woodcarvers have. Mom and I both brought home some wood-carved figurines, mine is a Mary, Jesus and Joseph carving and mom's is of two Bavarian (not German as the woodcarver quickly corrected my mother) dancers. 


The next day we spent exploring Munich, which included visiting Dachau Concentration Camp. If you want to be humbled beyond belief, you need to make it to one of the concentration camps. Just walking from the visitor's center to the front gate of the camp sent goosebumps up my spine and left an eerie feeling around me all day. The first thing you see before entering the camp is the replica of the original gate, reading "Arbeit Macht Frei" or "Work Sets You Free." Sadly we know now that this wasn't true of the prisoners sent to Dachau. 

Dachau was the first concentration camp built, and all other camps were modeled after this one. We were able to tour some of the original buildings to the camp, as well as replicas of the barracks. We walked through the gas chambers, which they told us were never actually used at this camp, but it was still an overwhelming experience. 


We ventured back to the city center to catch the glockenspiel show at the Marienplatz square (which was luckily right above the metro station or we might have missed it!). There's jousting, dancing, and even a wedding that rotate and move during the little show. It was a pretty neat thing to see. We enjoyed a dinner of pig knuckles, pork belly, wiener schnitzel, and beer- lots and lots of beer- at the Hofbrauhaus. The morning we left we visited the Chinese tower in the English Garden (and had one last German beer of course). 


That wraps up our stint in Germany! That also wrapped up our time with Andy before he left for France to get things ready for the wedding. It was so nice to be able to spend some time with him (and Laura and Alexander in England!), and for him to show us around some of his home country. And I just have to say thank goodness we had him in Germany to help us navigate their public transit system. Not that we couldn't navigate public transit, because now I can say that we definitely can, but because German is so different from English and the words are so long and confusing. We would have spent a lot more time trying to figure things out on our own if it wasn't for him. Until next time, Germany!