Baby #2: 40 Weeks

40 weeks. We made it to my due date! And since this is more than likely my last chalkboard update, I'm going to be doing things a little differently. 

First, I wanted to start with a few random facts from my pregnancy that I don't want to forget:

• I gained a total of 14.5 pounds.
• My stomach measures 39.5 inches around my belly button.
• Speaking of belly buttons, mine is even with the rest of my stomach. A few more weeks and it might have become an outie!
• Madison prefers the right side of my stomach. I hardly ever feel her on the left.
• Her favorite thing to do lately is poke a body part (I'm guessing a knee or foot) out on my right side. She eventually moves it after I rub on it a few times.

And now for my weekly recap! Monday my work family had a get together for me. We had such a great time talking and eating some yummy snacks and cupcakes. Valinda, you'll have to thank your sister for making them! They surprised me with a beautiful necklace that has both Ian and Madison's names and birthstones in it. 

Thursday I had another doctor's appointment. Madison's heart was beating strong at 125, and I'm still only dilated to a one. Then came the news I wasn't expecting- Dr. Haller wants to schedule me for an induction at the beginning of the week. She will be gone Thursday through Monday. I'm guessing that I wouldn't go into labor on my own while she was gone, but it is a possibility. And if that happened, she obviously wouldn't be able to be there for Madison's delivery. She suggested that I come in for an ultrasound on Monday, and as long as Madison is in a good position, we could induce on Tuesday or Wednesday. 

Holy moly. Tuesday seemed so close. It was only 5 days away. Only 5 more days with Madison. I started tearing up while we were talking. Dr. Haller looked at me and said that we didn't have to induce the next week, but she's become really attached and wants to be there for everything. And honestly, I want her to be there too. She has been with us from the absolute beginning when we went through losing Ian in 2014. She gave me a huge hug when I came in pregnant again last summer, and had tears welling up in her eyes as she told us that Madison had anencephaly and wouldn't survive long outside the womb. I have a comfort level with her that I wouldn't be able to form in the worst moment of my life. Not that I don't think another OB wouldn't be able to take good care of me, because I know that they would, but having my own doctor there would definitely make me more comfortable in the whole situation. She told me that we could think about it over the weekend and let her know on Monday.

I got in my car and cried as I called Eric to tell him our options. It was a lonely ride home and a long wait for him to get home from work. I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do. Of course I wanted Dr. Haller to deliver Madison, but I wasn't ready to only have five days left with her. Only five more days to tell her I loved her, to make memories with her, to feel her kicks and movements. Only five more days for her to definitely have a heartbeat. It was overwhelming. Part of me wanted to wait and induce the following week. But even then, I knew I was only delaying the inevitable. Luckily I have literally the best husband in the world. He made the decision for me- we would induce on Tuesday. That night we laid down in bed and got out Madison's story book, as we have for the last as many nights as I can remember. But this time was different. This time we knew that our time reading this story to her had an end date. And it not only brought tears to my eyes, but also to Eric's. And if you know anything about Eric, you'd know that making him cry is a big deal. He actually choked up while reading before I did, which of course made me lose it. It was a rough night, that's for sure.

After realizing that our time with Madison now has a definite end date, we have done our best to make the most of the time we have left by both making memories and staying busy to keep our mind off of things. Saturday morning I got a much needed pedicure with Ashley. It was so nice to feel normal for a while and be pampered all at the same time. Eric and I worked in the barn hanging up decorations. We are both pretty proud of how it's looking! We got to enjoy the beautiful weather outside playing fetch with Cassie and cuddling with Bailey. Not to mention soaking up all that wonderful sun. We went to church that night, and after mass Father Probst gave us a blessing. After church Maddie got to enjoy some of her daddy's fine home cooking- country fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. He may not cook much, but boy does he do a good job when he does! My birthday present from Eric also came in! He got me a gold bar necklace with the coordinates of where Ian (and soon to be Madison) is buried. The back has their names engraved on it. That location has a huge piece of my heart, and I love being able to wear it around my neck.

Then today Eric and I ventured to Champaign for a little shopping. Eric needed new running shoes and we wanted to look for some 3-in-1 jackets for our cruise to Alaska this summer. (Yes, you read that right, we are going to Alaska in June! And Eric actually suggested the trip in the first place- I'm so excited!!) And of course while we are in Champaign we couldn't pass up eating at our favorite restaurant, Red Lobster. Maddie needed some crab legs one more time :) It was a very relaxing day just spending time together. Tomorrow I have my ultrasound first thing in the morning, and then we will schedule the induction. Eric and I plan to take Madison to Steak and Shake tomorrow night, I wanted to show her where we took our first date. It's never too late to make one more memory <3